Win His Heart

Winning the Aries Man

He's ruled by the red planet (Mars), so you know this guy is hot. But he's also cold. He's a man of extremes, whose loyalty is to himself first, and his epic journey. On that note, the Aries man is so absorbed in the moment that he may not notice you at first. He's got his eyes on the next prize. This makes it easier to observe him from afar, and develop a huge crush.

When his gaze finally does beam on you, don't wilt and play shy or too smitten. He doesn't want a done deal. That's an instant turn-off to such a forceful and confident man. He's looking for tension in romance, the thrill of the hunt, with the goodies kept at a tantalizing distance until the right moment. In old-school lingo, it's called playing hard to get.

In the bedroom, It takes a whole lotta woman to keep this man satisfied. He'll look at you with lusty desire, and make you feel like the hottest thing around. When you're new, you're the "It Girl" of the moment. He's impulsive in love, and comes on strong. He finds you ravishing, but don't let him eat you up in one sitting. Saying "No" sometimes and doing your own thing makes you fresh for your next encounter. And it does the trick to build his anticipation, and keep him in pursuit.

The Aries Man is full steam ahead, and gains momentum as the night goes on. You gotta have energy to spare to keep up. It's tempting to go along for the ride, since his energy has an animating effect. But it's wise to retain your own sense of rhythm in the relationship, what feels balanced for you. He's thrilling, but self-centered, and you should let that rub off on you, in a healthy way. He'll respect you for it, and come back for more.

The Aries man is impulsive, and this leads to a never ending series of infatuations. But winning his heart is another story, at times with a damned if you do, damned if you don't plot line. He's not into sharing his feelings, and will recoil at too much analyzing of the relationship. Trust me, don't go there. The Aries man enjoys games and feats, like winning a giant bear for you at the fair, or showing off by popping a wheelie. "Look what I can do!" is his appeal. The best response is awe, with some sincere adulation thrown in. But don't lay it on too thick, 'cause he'll grow angry if he feels "played."

And that's the tricky part, dealing with that super-sized ego. He doesn't want a pushover, but does need a fair amount of ego stroking. He's bright, and will respond to direct, daring communications. When he struts and swaggers around the room, let him know he's met his feisty, haughty, quick-witted match. Facing fears and moving toward your own dreams will impress him the most. As will standing up to him when he's an arrogant arse. A relationship that is fresh and full of new revelations keeps him by your side. In the end, the best path is to be your most dynamic self, and let the chips fall where they may.

Win the Heart of a Taurus Man

Along with knowing the Taurus nature, look to his Venus sign, for clues to the male Bull's feminine ideal.

The earthy Taurus guy has a settled nature, and often is a man of few words. He takes everything in, though it may take awhile. His rhythm may seem slow, and he's resistant to changing his mind or his routine. Once he's fixed on you, he's going to embed you in his world. He'll likely be a loyal mate who has security on his mind. He makes an ideal provider, cuddly father and sensual lover. He's definitely marriage material.

A key to making this work is understanding that he's not going to change....the fix is in. He's a fixed sign that has a stubborn streak about his likes and dislikes. If you're restless and an excitement junkie, he's an immovable force that has no spontaneity. If you're in the market for a steady guy to share life's sensual pleasures with, he's your man.

In some ways, he's the true caveman guy who needs his creature comforts, gadgets and guilty pleasures. He's a Man's Man who enjoys being outdoors, even if its just hanging on the porch of the sport's bar with the fellas.

Taurus is Venus ruled, and this is a man soothed by beauty. He may have gifts working with his hands as a craftsman or his voice, like Taurean Bono Vox ("good voice.") He tends to go for the natural and feminine. Curves are a plus, as are showing them off with cottony or tactile fabrics that are organic to the touch. Some languid moves, like the long slow hair flip, catch his eye. He's got a heightened animal instinct, and will respond to subtle body language. He'll appreciate rhythmic sashaying, or seductive dining. And all this can go on without having to say a word.

You've probably heard that Taurus has a refined palate. If you're trying to impress a Taurus guy, cook him an artful meal. That means taking the time to sautee the onions first, then the green peppers...timing everything to enhance the flavors. And show that you value quality by spending a little extra on the wine. Make it a long multi-course taste extravaganza that he won't soon forget.

Show the Taurus man that you're a lover of earthly pleasures. Be sure to have something aromatic on the stove or in the oven when he swings by. Learn the art of partner massage, and give him lots of hugs and reassuring back rubs.

The Taurus man is known as a simple guy. He'll recoil from having "the talk" about where you stand and what he's feeling. You can decipher how it's going by how much he's integrating you into his life. If he didn't think you were worthy, he probably wouldn't bother.

It's also crucial to be straightforward, and resist playing mind games. Sometimes it's tempting to generate interest by making the guy jealous, but it'll backfire with him. If he suspects he's being played, you'll see the rage of the Bull...then he'll be gone. The bottom line is to avoid trying to jar him awake with drama. He's best suited to someone that accepts and appreciates his calm, steady ways. Like all guys, he wants to be loved for who he is. If you're able to go with the mellow flow, and share life's simple pleasures with a steadfast mate, he's the one for you.

Winning the Gemini Man

The Gemini man flirts indiscriminately, because he's naturally so social and curious. It's not hard to make his acquaintance, and he has loads of friends. He may date many at one time, giving him a reputation of being a bit of a player. Especially when young, he prefers to keep things casual and light. Keep this in mind if you're looking for marriage material. He's the eternal bachelor reveling in his freedom of motion.

He's a whirl of activity when first dating. He'll know all the best places to go and what's happening around town. He'll want to know everything about you, and is an easy conversationalist. To impress, he'll tell funny tales or show off his observations about art, culture, politics, people. You'll win his heart if you genuinely think he's smart and hilarious.

He's on the move, so it helps if you're adventurous too. He'll come up with new things to do, but if you are hooked up, it doubles the fun. Scan your weekend listings for something out of the ordinary; he's lit up by the exotic or eclectic. If you live in a small town, try improvising as a spontaneous twosome. One Gemini guy I know and his date wore all red and ate red food on red plates. Be absurd and on the fly, and see what happens.

The Gemini guy's turn off is a closed, rigid mind. He changes his own mind a lot, which makes him seem sketchy. But it's the nature of Gemini to sift and sort, and rearrange the picture. To share a rapport with him, you'll need to be a free thinker, willing to see things from many angles. This is crucial for a love connection, since he'll want to share a running commentary that spills out unedited, and is always changing.

The Cancer Guy

Getting to Know Him

The Cancer guy is super sensitive, and often grows up shy. How open he is depends on whether he's learned that it's ok to trust others. The older Cancer wears a protective shell, and often appears aloof. But inside, he's still that same softy with the big heart.

Of all the signs, he's the most sensitive to rejection. That's why he likes to move toward love in an indirect way -- like a Crab. He doesn't want to rush into anything.

The Cancer Guy

• is protective of his private life
• doesn't like to stand out, or be singled out
• has a natural affinity for women, and is especially close to his mother
• is most comfortable in his own home
• comes across as vulnerable, which brings out a protective instinct in others
• gets lost in his moods
• is easily wounded
• looks for emotional sure-things and financial stability

When He's in Love

his fear of being hurt grows

he forms a deep attachment

he responds to steady affection and honesty

he reveals himself in safe places

he remembers every moment

he's sentimental and loving

can recoil if hurt, even if unintentionally.

What He Wants

• Faithfulness
• A homey atmosphere together
• To create a family feeling
• To have emotional intimacy
• To build a stable life with enough food and money to feel secure
• To get to know each other's families
• To share a refuge -- home -- from the harsh world outside

He Responds to:

• A genuine interest in his background, childhood, family.
• Comforting assurances of your affection.
• An emotionally safe situation, where his vulnerability won't be taken advantage of.
• Respect for his strength and sensitivity.
• A cozy setting with his favorite foods, warm lighting, private feel.

Cancer Man and Sex

He gets affectionate and lets down his guard when he feels emotionally safe. Often that means on his own home turf, with all his comforts within arm's reach. Cancer men are orally oriented, starting with kissing, and covering the body landscape.

On the Down Side, he's emotionally manipulative, childish, defensive, rejecting, passively aggressive, brooding, self-pitying.

On the Bright Side, he is gentle, protective, home-oriented, great with kids, marriage material, a family man, devoted, domestic, loving, intuitive and sentimentally romantic.

Dating the Leo Man

All Done Up

Most men are visually-oriented, and Leo's doubly so. That's why it pays to take time to do up your hair and wear your most flattering outfit. Go ahead and bring out the glamour reserved for special nights, even if you're going to the neighborhood Chinese place. The overall effect is key, and how confident you are with your own "presentation." He's enamored with a Look, as the natural expression of who you are. So it's all about exaggerating the unique way you shine, and being confident about who you are.

Leo men are show-oriented, that's just all there is to it. He's drawn to those that make him look good. This can be a fun social game, as the pair of you hit the town. He wants to show you off, and bask in the glory of having "caught" you. In the beginning, you might feel like the Queen to his King, showered with goodies and fun times. He's hot headed and all-man, who is energizing to be around. He's a romantic, passionate, warm-hearted, and it could be the time of your life....while it lasts.

The Queen and her Bad Boy King

But Leo men are known to be eternal bachelors always on the hunt. Just ask Jerry Hall, whose Leo man Mick Jagger "never grew up," even though she hoped he would. She's a Cancer (July 2nd) who dazzled him as a total Texas original, a whole lotta woman, but in the end, that lion couldn't be tamed. She's tried to hide her wounded heart with humor. Leo men attract with their swagger and masculine bravado, their steamy hungry eyes. There's a Leo quality of wanting to be the King of the pride, sought by many, and answerable to no one. It's that sense of entitlement that's both intoxicating and leads to lots of heartache.

The Lion in Love

That's not to say a lion can't be loyal. He's got a true heart, when the timing is right (he's matured) and your life together is epic and filled with dramatic love. A Leo wants life to be filled with celebrations and adventures. So if you're full of joie de vivre, he'll respond to that. Creating stand-out memories together will help form a strong bond. Another key is exploring different sides to who you are, and sharing that with him. When you take risks, he'll champion your efforts. He appears confident, but needs lots of praise and attention. If you genuinely believe in him and respect him, it'll show. You'll have no problem pumping him up when he needs it.

Beyond Stereotypes

If you've met a Leo, keep in mind that all the other planets have their say in his nature. For example, your Leo man might have an earth sign Moon (Capricorn, Taurus or Virgo), making him crave shared stability in his emotional life. Look also to Venus and Mars for clues on his complex nature. And above all, never let "what you've heard" about Leos keep you from taking a chance, and getting to know who he really is. Astrology gives us the outline of possibilities, but only in real life do we experience the energies play out.

Winning the Virgo Man

Being calm, cool and collected is a good start. He's the epitome of emotional self-restraint, and will take his sweet time getting to know you. He'll be wary of instant bonding and may come across as disinterested at first. Try to avoid first date faux pas like getting drunk and sloppy with your boundaries, or bringing out your relationship skeletons.

This guy likes to analyze, and will notice if you follow, or feign interest, in his intricate train of thought. He's likely got detailed solutions for social problems, and strong opinions about how others behave. The Virgo man won't shy from an intellectual debate, but will show disgust if it turns into a tense argument.

He doesn't like coarseness, so try to hold back the F-word until you know him better. He's big into etiquette, and may have a strong reaction to bad manners in public. Stay sharp and observant so you can pick up his likes and dislikes -- showing you were paying attention wins points with the Virgo man. Give some thought to his practical needs, and show you care that way.

He'll appreciate a put-together look, and will notice that you took special care with your appearance. That same eye for detail may zoom right in on a stain that others don't see. To attract the discriminating eye of a Virgo man, good grooming is a must.

Don't press this guy for sentimentality. If he doesn't make a big deal about your relationship anniversary, remember all the little things he does day to day. He's got a steady nature and won't want too much drama. He likes order, routine and keeping his life under control. Get involved with his daily routine, and soon you'll be integrated into his life.

He's a true hermit, so don't force too much togetherness. His Sun sign destiny is to achieve self-containment, and this requires a lot of solitude. Give him the freedom to go off and do his own thing, and he'll keep coming back.

Winning the Libra Man

The Libra man loves to pair up, and that's why he's often one half of a notable duo. The two halves merge into a harmonious One, or at least that's the romantic ideal. When smitten, the Lover of the Zodiac wants to be together all the time, and finds partnership very natural. He's a serial monogamist. He's got an instinct for playing off others, in a pleasing way, and this makes him easy to be with. He makes friends easily, but his true desires in relationship take time to discover.

The Libra man finds himself by closely observing what's mirrored back to him in relationships. How he responds to you, depends on how you're responding to him. From the outset, if the vibe isn't there, it'll likely not get past the light friendship stage. To pique his interest, find out what he's fascinated by, and start conversations about that. Plan first dates in stimulating settings, with a lot to talk about -- museums, cultural centers, festivals.

He's an air sign, so a key to knowing if it's a match, is discovering his mind. Being on the same wavelength, in terms of preoccupations, is what creates the foundation. His leanings are toward refined living, and he's likely a bit of a metrosexual. You score points when you show that you appreciate his artful eye. This might be complimenting his home decor or clean and upscale man-style. He's Venus-ruled, and knows how to evoke a light, luxurious mood to relax and be sultry in. If you're receptive to his generous moves, he'll keep it up with the romance.

He's attracted to a mate that compliments him in every way, including aesthetically. You gotta look good together, in other words. If you're put together, healthy, sophisticated, mentally bright, socially curious, fair-minded -- these are things he values, and looks for. Libra loves love, and it's interesting to note that many born under this sign find each other. If Libra likes its reflection (in you), and finds room there for growth, it's a divine match of incredible twosome synchronicity.

To win the Libra man, don't stoop to a gossipy or lowbrow attitude. He can't handle a lot of confrontation, and could be continually flustered by a strong-willed partner. He's not particularly direct, since there's a beat in-between, as he's sizing up a situation. If he's thrown off balance too much, by an impatient date, he'll start to get surly. He's looking for closeness, but needs that mental space to do his thing, before taking action. The right partner gets this, and respects him enough not to take advantage in the pregnant pauses.

Unless he's head over hills, it may be hard to trust the Libra man's sincerity. That's because he's charming and charmed by each dazzling possibility in his orbit. He's reluctant to beclaimed, wanting to stay open to the best life has to offer. But once he's found his "other half," his focus turns in to the relationship itself. He's a steady anchor for a long term pairing, always looking for ways to make it better.

Win the Sagittarius Man

The Player

He greets you with a 100-watt smile, and seems to always be happy. He likes jokey, playful, flirty, colorful and fun. The Sadge man wants to get to know you, but always keeps it friendly. His searing vision plunges the depths -- don't forget his sign follows Scorpio -- but he tends not to linger on heavy topic. Be prepared for fast conversation shifts, as he tries to tango with your mind.

Things He Likes:

• Your hilarious off-hand observations.
• Your passion for learning about something.
• Your attempts to reach your personal best.
• Ways you keep yourself inspired
• Your independent spirit.
• Your naturalness, frank talk, playful sexual flirtation.
• Your spontaneity.

Direct Love Style

The Archer is very physical, so on first dates, he'll be tuning in to your body, as well as your mind. He's built for endurance, and might suggest active dates that keep the focus on physical stamina. An unattached Sadge guy often sees sex as another area of play and exploration. Don't be surprised if he expects the Full Monty on the first date. This is where my emotionally sensitive readers should take note. The Sadge man doesn't mean to be a love 'em and leave 'em type. But if his interest wanes after you've done the deed, he can't fake it. Keep that in mind when you're considering taking the plunge into bed together.

Truth be told, Sagittarius is one of the potential "players" of the Zodiac. I've known a few that had a kinky streak. Mainly, though, he's interested in varied life experience. The saving grace is that he's usually forthright about his desire to experience the terrain of many physical landscapes. If you're the jealous type, or looking for "The One," be careful here. His innocent lust for you is charming, but keep in mind he might be seeking variety in romance. If you dive in with the secret hope that he'll commit at some point, you could be let down. In some ways, Sagittarius never really settles down, and is better suited with an equally free-wheeling partner.

Vision Quest

He wants to be "friends" first, and it'll always have that partner-in-adventure feel to it, if you keep it fresh.

The Sagittarius mission is to stay light on his feet, to cover a lot of ground, and that's why he doesn't seek heavy duty relationship entanglements. He's focused on the outer world, so it helps if you are too. That means a steady diet of culture, parties, events, races, trips and so on.

The Archer is the seeker, and you'll see where his gaze is fixed. He might be an intellectual traveler or an athlete. The main thing is his sights are future oriented, toward goals on the distant horizon. This perspective keeps him always restless to learn more, do more, experience more. If you've got a similar stamina, you may be able to keep up. If you're just as inspired, then you're likely the one to share his actively pursued dreams.

Fun and Games

The Sagittarius man loves to laugh, and you'll get extra points for expanding his mind through humor. If you're prone to negativity or shame spirals, this could be a deal breaker. He'll appreciate you when you add to his spark. And he'll vanish if you try to bring him down, or get him to see how tragic life is.

That's why it's best to keep first dates light. You win points by being philosophical about your life challenges. If the chemistry isn't there, it's no use trying to hang in there until something ignites. With Sagittarius guys, the physical attraction is just as important as having a dynamic rapport. If you hit a groove together on both scores, it could be the start of a beautiful friendship.

How to Win the Heart of the Capricorn Man

To win the heart of this cardinal earth sign, you've got to be able to sense the subtle cues. It'll take something akin to a deep earth sounding device, like scientists use to find fault lines and volcanoes. So much stirs within the Capricorn man, that it takes a certain kind of vision to see into the interior landscape. Underneath the settled exterior are big passions and intense heart longings, and that's why this cautious sign takes its sweet time in love.

If you're drawn to Capricorn, it's likely that you're also kinda reserved and traditional. The Goat wears the mantle of seriousness, and moves toward being the wise elder, even when young. He's the one with the dry one-liners that sum up a situation. And the one that nobody messes with, because they sense his inner strength...it's palpable. They know he's going places.

While first dating, stay calm, don't freak out or dissolve into a giggling fit, if you can help it. But he's the comic straight man, and your looser humor turns you into a comedy duo. The key is to be disciplined with your thoughts and humor, to have a measured approach. If this sounds too structured, then this guy might not be for you.

To love a Capricorn, is to understand his ambitious nature, and respect him. There's a bit of the father figure in the Capricorn guy. But in these traditional gender roles, you get to be the matriarch to his patriarch, so there's a certain side-by-side equality to it.

While dating, he's as unreadable as the Sphinx, and just as immovable. If you're just playing the field, he'll get wise to that, and shy away. He wants a solid, enduring love, but one that enhances his career, too. He wants a smart, accomplished woman that will make him look good in public. Some under-evolved Cap guys might just see the material, the outer, and want arm candy that'll boost his ego. But a Capricorn ripe for the picking shows interest in your mind and life goals, too, as well as a healthy admiration for your body.

He's not afraid of a challenge, and will want you to be your best, and have big dreams of success. He's preoccupied with his life's work, so things flow fresher when you're developing your own talents and have career-sized goals, too. And ideally, you're someone that has graceful ways of breaking the ice, and that's an asset for him socially. If it's backed up by strength of character, your style and sophistication goes a long way with him.

The old-fashioned arrangements appeal to the Capricorn man, and the right woman shines by adding the essential flourishes to his foundation. You know how to draw him out of his melancholy moods, by making him feel deeply cherished. But you have the sense of timing, to know when to leave him alone. The Sea-Goat is the ultimate Man in the Cave, and needs time to churn within, and tune in to his own soundings. An early good gift is something that shows respect for the private side of his nature.

Like all the earth signs, Capricorn tends to slowly intermingle with you over time. The courtship could take what seems like ages, with no signs that you're making an impression. You've got to have patience to win the heart of the Capricorn man, and that's a built-in test of whether you're right for him, and he for you. The rewards for hanging in there are exquisite for those that value loyalty and timeless love. The intimacy deepens over time, and your life together becomes more layered and meaningful with the passing years.

Win the Heart of the Aquarius Man

Knows His Own Mind

The Aquarius man is a thinker, and loves to be stimulated by the unexpected. He's drawn to your eccentricities and original opinions, so don't hold back. Born under the planet of shocks and futuristic thinking (Uranus), he's bound to have some ideas that seem "out there." It's wise to keep an open mind, if you're wanting him as a mate.

Aqua man is friendly and big-hearted, but there's a sense that he's always just a bit out of reach. He's lost in his thoughts, or goes missing for days on end. He's got his own moral code, which might include other partners, so be sure you're on the same page. I've known more than a few to be surprised to find their Aquarius had other "friends." For some that's just spreading the love around -- but if it's not your understanding, that leads to quite a shock.

The Aquarius man can be a trendsetter, an absent-minded Professor type, a quirky genius, and much more. He's progressive by nature, but is known to have stubborn opinions. This makes sense when you consider the co-ruler, Saturn, and his love of structure and order. This is the paradox -- he rebels against fixed ideas, but can be maddeningly blind to his own.

Unattached

The Aquarius man is a free agent, and even when committed, keeps a sense of separateness. For the right lover, this is liberating, with room to change every which way. He will treat you like a friend first, so be sure you enjoy his companionship.

This is someone with the upper limit of friends, and there can be times when you feel one in the crowd. He can seem "lost to you" at times, which is tough on more sensitive hearts. Many Aquarians are in committed relationships, but it's in their nature to engage with the many, or to vanish by themselves.

So how to win his heart? Be utterly fascinating and engaged in your own creations. Have an open mind, and let him be who he is. Don't get too emotional or intense. Make your first commitment to pushing always into new ground. Avoid talk of commitment. If this doesn't sound like you, there are plenty of other fish in the sea. The Aquarius man of all people understands that and will probably wish you well on your way!

Winning the Heart of the Pisces Man

Kind Eyes

In college I used to tell my girlfriends that I was looking for a man with kind eyes. The Pisces man, with his emotional sensitivity, often has big, kind eyes. I had the chance to date a Pisces once, during a tough time of my life in New York City. Though I didn’t know him well, he offered his place outside the city as a refuge. A place to restore the spirits and de-compress. The Pisces man understands that life is overwhelming if you’re sensitive. He’s likely to try to be a soothing presence, which is itself a balm in an indifferent world.

First Dates

The Pisces man has a subtle and complex nature that is drowned out in loud places. That’s why it’s better to suggest a mellow, “undiscovered” place to get to know him. Atmospheric places with perhaps an aquarium or waterwall appeal. Places with whimsical themes or with an Eastern flair – like a Tibetan restaurant – are up his alley.

It’s best to meet the Pisces man in a place where you can be totally present to the mystery of the Other. Avoid places that are visually over stimulating or crowded. A walk by the ocean or a lake is ideal. So is sailing or a whale watching excursion. A night at the theater or cinema gives you a lot to talk about. Or try going off the beaten track in a forest for a nature walk.

What He Likes

The Pisces man likes to be with those who “get” him. That means women who understand he’s often pulled in many directions. He's confused, lost, disoriented, dazed, in a fog. He wants to be with someone who won’t take advantage of his lostness and emotional sensitivity. He struggles to believe that he’s capable, and shines when he’s got someone solidly in his corner.

The Pisces man is easily manipulated, and can fall prey to playing the victim in relationships. He also may struggle more than other signs with addiction. It’s hard for him to live in reality sometimes. A healthy Pisces man is drawn to women that don’t play on his weaknesses. He thrives with a partner that helps him face life and isn’t an enabler for his addictions.

Arty Guy

The Pisces man has an active imagination. He wants someone to share his dreams and imaginings with. He's his best with someone that encourages him to find expression for all he holds within.